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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

To Dad

To Dad...

You are not here father
And I miss you dearly
Every second of your life
After my birth
You worried about me
You should have
For I was your oldest born son
I loved all the attention
Even though it made my life miserable

I am sorry for the worries I caused you
I couldn’t help it.
I have your DNA
More than anybody else’s
We still have a soul connection
You are in my dream, more than anybody else
You still try to protect me.
But you know better now
Even when you didn’t
You knew the answer
To any question better than me



The thing is:
Our souls, saw the truth differently
Reminds me when Shams says:
A chicken was sitting on me and gave me birth
But I was an egg from a duck.
You would walk with me to the edge of the creek
But I always wanted to jump to the River


You would have a rosary in your hand
With ninety nine pieces
You would repeat ninety nine names of God
Forgive me to say that.
He wasn't good enough to make it to a hundred?
Or a thousand?
Doesn't matter
You did well, very well indeed.
Even ninety nine is too much for me
You were talented
I can’t even make it to one.
I am shooting for zero
All the names are given by us
God forbid, who am I to name him
I am not his parent to give him a name
One or ninety nine
For, he has no parent
You know that now
After you joined him
That he is the Ultimate non-existent
And the non-existent one, doesn't have a name


Maybe that is why
You are consistently with me
Because you know you were right
But so was I, by not giving in
By saying:
Dear father
I love you more than my life
But No, I never believed on what you did
Yet still
I am eternally grateful
For  teaching me everything I know now
Including saying NO.


You still there
From the land of non-existence
You always prayed to the entity with ninety nine names
To protect me
You still interfere with the one who has no name
By coming and checking on me.
I was grateful than, I am grateful now
You did and do it for my good
After the creator
You were the closest thing to him
That helped in my creation.
Thank you dad.
I love you so much
Next to God with zero name
I always pray to you
See you in the land without space and time
In the nowhere-land of eternity


December 2013
All rights reserved
By Kabuli


Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Through the Eyes of the Universe

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.


When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase "each other" doesn't make any sense.
mevlana jelaluddin rumi - 13th century


The Eye of the Universe!!


Once upon a time, Rumi the great great philosopher, poet scholar of 13th century was in a heated discussion and debate with a fundamentalist frozen minded scholar that would announce anything that is not tested or permitted by scriptures wrong. Only Sharia and the so called words of prophet was right. Anything else blasphemy. The opponent was getting worked out, angry, very insulting. Rumi listened carefully as his habit always was in regard to his Muslim, Jewish , Christian and non believer friends . Not only that. He would converse with a stray dog, listen to a prostitute’s tough life complains in the street for an hour without caring to be seen there.


So he listens carefully at the end the says, you know Sheikh? I know I am right, but everything you said was right too. We both are.


*****************************************


It is hard to get that concept. Very very hard indeed. So let me explain the best I can. I hope I get you there somehow.


You can look around you and chose to use your human judgement. Let your narrow minded religious, tribal, patriotic, national, linguistic predispositions rule over you mind, cloud your judgement, be rude and unappreciative of others, explode in anger, hurt yourself and your own kinds. All our human problems throughout history come from this kind of mentality. We killed, we destroyed and caused pain. Just because the only truth is our truth. Sick, narrow, illiterate, unwise.


Rumi, on the other hand saw the world not through the Human eyes, but through the eyes of the Universe.
Like I said in my other post about Good and Bad in one of my blogs, there is no black and white, there are only shades of grey, lighter, darker and so on, People who are kind enough to read almost everything I write, have  seen it. If not, it is in my blog (Noaccent.blogspot.com) , my philosophy blog, not my poetry one.
So what is Universal truth that you can only see it through the eyes of the Universe?
That, there is no one Universal truth, one true path. Universe is filled with gazillion time gazillion(s) truths or facts.
Don’t you feel sorry for a fawn, chased by lion, torn apart to pieces and makes a meal before get a chance to be a handsome gazelle? You sure do, I surely did, with my deep thinking mind, I was thinking about that one fact, was enough to make me angry and say there is no loving God, there is no justice in Universe. That is because I was looking through the veil in my eyes and fog in my brain.
Yes there is justice in this world. Justice in the world means, nothing stops laws of physics act the way they should. Those are the only commandments God  or supreme being has written, laws of physics and nature. And the orderly or seemingly disorderly rule of the Universe. No Magics, no Miracles. Every act by itself is a Miracle.


Back to the fawn and lion, the blueprint is given. The Universe doesn't care, if the fawn runs away and make it for another three years and be full grown deer or gazelle, or get caught. Or the lion catches meal or go hungry. They both have their instincts and their abilities. Universe  is too busy,  creating galaxies and stars, let them live 8 billion years, make them explode, create new stars.Feed the black-holes with full solar systems as a meal for dinner etc etc. Even there the detail is not important to him/it, the solar system got eaten or shoots as run away star, who cares. Eventually the laws of nature will do its work the way it is supposed to be. So is it true that eating the fawn is good or is it true that eating the fawn in bad? Is it Good for fawn to run away, or is it right for him to be eaten? Depends how fawns mom or Lion are thinking. For the Universe both are right. 3 years or three months that the fawn or deer or gazelle can live are smaller than nano second in the time scale of Universe. They both ( Lion and Fawn) should go, eventually die. It doesn't make a difference. None has a stamped birth certificate that says they live for ever. They just play their nanosecond roles. What comes next, your guess is as good as mine. In my opinion we all join nonexistence and nonexistence is God.


I hope this clarified why Rumi was right and so was his opponent. His opponent was right because that was all he was capable to understand: Books, scriptures, tradition of Sharia.  He wasn't able to free his mind from web and mold of suggestion. Rumi was right because he was always looking through the eyes of the Universe, not humans .

By Kabuli October9 2013
All rights reserved
©Thecarriagehorse.com 

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Back to Basics !




Basics? He laughs.
Shouldn’t basics be serious?
It should make sense.
It should be widely accepted.
Everything you say is a joke.
Will you take anything serious?

I look up and say:
Its funny you should say that.
Isn’t that the way you created me?
You left seriousness to Moses.
And he was the one who gladly accepted it.
I am the irresponsible one remember?
I say what comes out of my mind.
You erased the word consequences from my dictionary.

Interesting he says.
And speaking of Moses, why did you take on
All the religions the other night?
Don’t you know every single one of them
Have a path that leads to me
To seek me, to worship me?

That is true I say
That’s how they all start at least
Until they forget about you
And start on each other.
We rip each other apart
We tear the clothes from each other’s bodies
We steal food from others and put it in our mouths
Even if we are more than full already
No sin is committed at all
We are very good at finding a verse
A scripture that gives us those rights.

Is that all? He says.
Aren’t you afraid of hell?
Don’t you want to go to heaven?
How long you can last you think?

No of course not I say:
And there is more.
Since when you need worshiping?
I thought you were happy being lonely.
Since you are the only one real
And we are all fakes.
And don’t tell me, you have a religion
Or belong to one.
I laugh again and say
That trick about heaven and hell
Is thousands of years old?
They needed to hear that.
BUT!
I listened very carefully
When you said, you belong to me
And you all come back to me
So make room for me
Because I am coming home
And you know very well, that is your place
Its neither heaven nor Hell.

He laughs and says:
Once again you passed your test.
But be nice to others
Not everybody knows the secret
Everybody is trying
And they are hoping for the best
There is no wrong way.
It all depends on what you know
What you can grasp
What surrounds you?
And what you have been told.

For the first time, I bite my lip
I am ashamed and I look down
I keep whispering:
Will do, will do, will do!!!

A loud thunder wakes me up
My wife asks: Will do what!!????
I laugh and say:

Will buy those shoes for you tomorrow!!!
....




By Kabuli
September 24-2913
All rights reserved








Monday, September 2, 2013

Angels by Lake Washington

Angels by Lake Washington.


Dedicated to young Afghan girls and boys who despite their busy schedules in school ,life and work they forget about having fun or even relaxing and use their time to help build schools for girls in Afghan villages, the ones who make R.E.A.C.H ( Relief and Education for Afghan Children) still stay alive.
Thank you very much



Zarmina  was walking by the shores of Lake Washington. A cold breeze from  blue, chilly waters was caressing her  face. She just finished preparing for big exam to a prestigious university for her post grad studies. It has been a long walk, after a long day. Sun going down on Puget Sound with rays of gold and orange. The beauty was out of this world.
She finds an empty picnic table, sits on the bench.It is getting late she think. I will sit five minutes to regain my energy, then go home. I don’t want to be out in the dark. She spread her books, realizing how much more, she has to read. Her mind is not working anymore. Without realizing her head hits the table, her eyes close. Still that everyday beautiful smile that reflects her optimism about the world is on her face. I always wondered where all that optimism come from.In this world that is infested so much misery, poverty, destruction and war, she still always remains optimist.
Then I realized. Running water is never afraid of the dirt and light can never be blocked by the darkness. If you are always good, you never hurt anyone and you always try to do the right thing, pessimism can never penetrate your soul. Anyways did it ever happen to you that sometime you are sleeping but you never realize it. You still think you are awake  That's what happened to her here. So She thought she was still turning the pages on her book that a weird sensation of something invisible is approaching hits  her. Slowly invisibility changed to transparent wings, the size of a fairy but keep changing in size , little bigger, an 8 0r 9 years old girl. A tiny white scarf on her head, black school dress, But still transparent then a full size angel that she has only seen in the movies., All white with a thousand and one sparkling stars. It was like she didn't have any dimensions, She could see the trees behind her and through her.
Wow, what is that, Zarmina thinks, She is scared, She wants to jump and runs away as fast as she can. She was about to scream that the angel, the fairy, that little school girl, whatever she was put her index finger on her lips, then gently touched her forehead that brought sudden calm and peace to her heart. Then, she, it, whatever that thing was pointed to the tree like maybe 40, 50 feet away. She saw the most beautiful birds she ever seen. Tiny but so alive jumping from branch to branch. All singing in chorus, in harmony. Zar is thinking, amazing, I understand them, every word they are saying. It is not English, not French, not Farsi or Pushtu and certainly not Arabic. A strange new language. that  I never heard before but I do understand every word.of it.
So she picks her notebook and start writing:


You said you don’t believe in Angels
But we are all around you
And you are one of us
You are the best we have
When a loved one gets mad
And yells at you
Your answer is always a smile
Or a nice word
You pray for your enemy
More than you pray for yourself.
You always have more than you can handle
Yet you still find time to do something
Something nice  for your little sister
And others like you
And the ones you never met
And you never will
You don’t even expect them to say thank you
You have a soul that is clean and pure
Cleaner than any saint and any angel
Yet you never ask for a reward
Or a pay back
*******
Everyone has an angel or two
Thats always there
When they are in need
***********
Yes Zareena don’t say you don’t believe in Angels
Because even Angels have good, better and best.
And you are the best we could ever find


She was thinking, Am I in heaven? No no I remember I came here to relax before I read more and more of never ending library of boring books, with technical terms. But it seemed like she didn’t care anymore. She was above minor inconveniences or even major ones in life.
       *******************************


-Zarmina, Zarmina, what's up with you? God I never get you. Even in your sleep that smile doesn’t fade away. Get up sis, time to go home, I thought I’ll find you here in, your favorite spot.
-Oh my God , it is 9 o’clock and its dark. Thanks God Sabrina. Would have been so dangerous if I stayed here overnight.


She gets up. to go back home with her older sister. She realizes it was all a dream. Of course she is not an angel.Just and ordinary girl who struggles to survive in this world. Suddenly she sees one of those birds again, the one she saw in her dream . It sits on a branch just five feet away, starts singing that weird language again.
Yes you are Zarmina
You are an angel
But don’t be proud
Even you need a guardian angel
Your sister
The ones that walks by you now
And just saved you\
From the dangers of the night.


She gets scared, and  hugs her sister.
_ What is it Zarmina?
_ Nothing did you hear that?
_Hear what? I can just hear your fast breathing, don’t be scared, I am here.
_ The bird singing in spoken words..
_ What? There are no birds at this time.
they all call it night and sleeping., I think you are just stressed out. You have too much on your plate but everything is going to be okay, trust me.


Nevermind sister, Zarmina replies, I love you so much. I don’t know if you have a telepathy, you are a  psychic, or what? You just pop up like a genie from nowhere the minute I need you.
_ Shut up Zarmina, you are  making me embarrassed. It is my job. God entrusted you to me, you are the best treasure I can ever have asked for  in this  world.and the one after  How am I going to live with myself if anything bad ever happens to you. So let’s go home,
Zarmina’s  throat. get full of emotions, she wants to cry, cry of joy, but she doesn't and she doesn't say a word, not even thank you sister and she walks home quietly…


The end
September  2nd 2013
By Kabuli
All rights reserved.
Copyight: Thecarriagehorse.com



Saturday, August 24, 2013

The Elusive Truth !


“Truth is stranger than fiction” Mark Twain


One day in my imagination
I asked Mansour, what is the secret to truth?
He looked at me blank and replied.
Aren't you short minded to ask me such a question?
I got confused with his answer, 
Aren't you the truth I said?
He laughed and wouldn't stop
Then he says you don't believe in that, do you?
I was going mad, 
I said if I didn't, I wouldn't have asked you
He said I know that, I was playing with your mind, that's my job
The truth always have to be concealed
Just go live your life, stay out of trouble
I came a long way, I am not about to give up, I reply
He laughs again, I know you wouldn't he says.
Do you know me better than myself?
I ask in amazement
You and everybody else he says.
If you don't know that, why did you come to me ?
I say just like Abraham went to God and said:
That's little bit farfetched Sir.
Show me please how you bring dead to life?
He laughs again
He says now I believe you,
People who are too afraid of God to even joke with him, 
They rarely make it to him.
So you want to know the truth?
You cannot handle an atom of it
For your body and mind is not conditioned to grasp it,  
It will put you on fire till eternity
I was cut in pieces, then was burned
My ashes were spread in the river Tigris.  
Even that didn't stop the fire
I am an eternal flame
I give light to the Universe
All you are after is well being of you and your family
But remember one thing
You and everybody else who is after the truth
You have to seek and find it by your free well
I am the truth, I cannot teach it to you
The luckiest of you, will suffer the enormous pain
They lose their body and soul in the process
Until they discover the truth
Then they are one with me
They are the truth
I got confused even more than I was.

And I leave scratching the back of my head.

( The myth of Great Mansour i  Halaj is one fascinating myth in Sufism, you can read more about it from multiple of sources )

By Kabuli
August 2013

©2013: TheCarriagehorse.com